Top 10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Hire a Landscaper

Landscaping. Ugh. (insert heavy sigh here) Just the sound of the word makes you want to find the nearest chair, plop down into it and slump over a bit, right? You’re busy enough just trying to remember to put the toilet lid down, dress the kids and get out the door to work on time. Who has the mental margin for LANDSCAPING? Rest assured, we put together this list of 10 reasons to AVOID hiring a professional landscaper so you can put landscaping out of your mind for good and continue on with all your menial, daily responsibilities.

1 You are absolutely thrilled that since you purchased your home it has only marginally increased in value. Truly, you’ve been avoiding any projects that would really add equity.

2. Many months, your water bill seems way too low and you routinely add an extra $100 to your bill. It feels so good to pay through your nose for water!

3. You love staring at the overgrown landscaping that Thelma planted in 1965.

4. You’re crazy about hard labor. In fact, you seek out hard physical feats to accomplish. You’re considering training for American Ninja Warrior or cutting your lawn with a kitchen scissors.

5. The more upkeep the better is your life motto! Your relationships, your home, your landscaping…as long as it requires a gut-wrenching amount of maintenance, you’re game!

6. You think paying through your nose for water is fun but you know that high energy bills are really what make your heart skip a beat. You intentionally leave your windows wide open on hot days to let the heat in just so your central air will work overtime and rack up that hefty bill you’re crazy about. You’ve even gone so far as to remove all trees from around your house to cut down on any possible shade that could cool your house naturally.

7. You love undertaking projects you don’t have experience with, troubleshooting unexpected disasters and filling up your summer weekends with house projects galore.

8. You really like the look of sparsely planted, mixed-climate greenery and you celebrated with your neighbors last year when your Minnesota palm tree shriveled up and died.

9. Going over budget is the best feeling in the world.

10. You and your family derive absolutely zero satisfaction from your property. In fact, you avoid grilling on your deck on gorgeous summer days and you strictly forbid your kids from frolicking in the yard.

There you have it. Boy, I bet you’re so glad you can finally put to rest that frivolous professional landscaping idea you entertained briefly. Wait, what? You’re still not convinced? Do we need to list 10 MORE reasons that hiring a landscaper is a terrible idea? You’ve got to be kidding. Now MORE THAN EVER you’re actually considering HIRING ONE? Well, to be completely truthful, we’re pretty thrilled. If these cold winter days have you dreaming about your next landscaping project, we would really love to hear from you! Contact us today to talk about your next project and ways we can help!

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